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What cold means
60 degrees
Californians put their sweaters on. 50 degrees
Miami residents turn on the heat. 45 degrees
Vermont residents go to outdoor concert. 40 degrees
You can see your breath
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans go swimming. 35 degrees
Italian cars don't start.32 degrees
Water freezes. 30 degrees
You plan your vacation in Australia. 25 degrees
Ohio water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming. 20 degrees
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes
Miami residents plan vacation farther south. 15 degrees
French cars don't start
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you. 10 degrees
You need jumper cables to get the car going. 5 degrees
American cars don't start. 0 degrees
Alaskans put on T-shirts. -10 degrees
German cars don't start
eyes freeze shut when you step outside. -15 degrees
You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
Miami residents cease to exist. -20 degrees
Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
Japanese cars don't start. -25 degrees
Too cold to think
You need jumper cables to get the driver going. -30 degrees
You plan a two week hot bath
Swedish cars don't start. -40 degrees
Californians disappear
Minnesotans button top button
Canadians put on sweater
Your car helps you plan your trip South. -50 degrees
Congressional hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window. -80 degrees
Polar bears move South
Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game. -90 degrees
Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets. -100 degrees
Hell freezes over
Clinton finally tells all.