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Clinton Bashing
There were 3 high school-aged boys walking down the street in Washington. Suddenly, they see Bill Clinton go jogging by, and he's about to be hit by a car. So, they pull Bill out of the way and save his life. Bill says "Thank you for saving my life. I'll grant each of you one wish."The first boy says, "I want to go to Georgetown."
Bill pulls some strings and gets the boy admitted.
The second boy says "I want to get into West Point, but it normally requires a Congressional appointment".
So Bill calls up his Democratic friends in Congress and gets the boy his appointment.
The third boy says "I want to be buried in Arlington National Cemetary."
Bill says "That's an odd request for a 17-year old!"
The boy says "Yeah, but when my father finds out I saved your life he's gonna kill me!"
Bill Clinton dies and goes to the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter asks him who he is and what he did.Bill replies, "I am Bill Clinton, and I was president of the United States!" St. Peter says, "Ok, I will take you to meet the Lord."
So they go to meet the Lord, who says "Who are you and what have you done?" Clinton replies, "I am Bill Clinton and I was president of the U.S.A.!"
The Lord then says, "Come Bill, sit by my right hand."Clinton then sits down to the right of the Lord, extremely happy.
Al Gore then dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St. Peter asks him who he is and what he did.
Al replies much the same as Bill did, stating that he is Al Gore and was Vice-president of the US. St. Peter then takes him to meet the Lord, who offers Al the seat on his left side. Al accepts, and like Clinton, is ecstatic.
After a while, Hillary dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asks who she is and what she did, to which she replies, "Hillary Rodham Clinton, wife of the president of the US."
Peter then takes her in to meet the Lord who repeats the question, "Who are you and what have you done?"
Hillary replies, "I am Hillary Rodham Clinton, and you are in my seat!"
"They said in the debates that Governor Clinton's home state of Arkansas has the lowest teen pregnancy rate in the nation... I'd like to thank the governor for wearing a condom."
A man was walking along when he spotted a small boy busily constructing something. He approached the boy and was shocked to see him playing with cow manure! For lack of anything better to say, he asked, "Little boy, what are you doing?" The boy replied, "I am making George Bush, Mister."Now thoroughly taken aback, the man asked, "Why are you making George Bush? Why not make, er, Bill Clinton?" The boy answered, "Oh no Mister, I can't make Bill Clinton."
"But why not?" asked the man.
The boy replied "Well, Mister, there isn't enough bullshit here to make Bill Clinton."