Driving with Wife
A man and wife driving along, they go through a stop light. A police officer pulls them over.The cop says "Do you realize what you just did?"
The husband who is doing the driving says "I sneezed and I think I went through a red light."
The wife pipes up and says "You didn't sneeze, you meant to run the light."
The cop looks at the driver and says "You're not wearing your seatbelt either."
The man replies "Oh, yes I was, I just took it off to take my licence out to show you."
Once again the wife pipes up and says "You haven't had it on since we left the house."
This time the husband turns around to her and says "Shut your mouth you hag!."
The cop is amazed by this and asks the lady if her husband always talks to her like this.
To this she replies "Only when he's drunk."