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Drunk Using Toilet
This guy is sitting in a bar drunk. He asks the bartender, "Where's the bathroom?" The bartender says, "Go down the hall and make a right." The drunk staggers off to the bathroom and a short while later, everyone in the bar hears this loud scream coming from the bathroom. A few minutes later, another loud scream fills the air.This time, the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. He stands at the door and hollers at the drunk, "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring all my customers."
The drunk says, "I'm sitting on the toilet and every time I try to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."
With that, the bartender opens up the door, looks in, and says, "No wonder, you're sitting on a mop bucket!!!"