Delphi Poster Poem

The following ditty may be sung to the Pirates Of Penzance tune: Modern Major General

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Ode to the Ubiquitous Delphi Poster

I am the very model of a Delphi personality.
I intersperse my postings here with tedious banality.
Addresses I have plenty of, both genuine and ghosted, too,
On all the countless forums that my drivel is cross-posted to.

Your bandwidth I will fritter with my whining and my snivelling,
And you're the one who pays the bill downloading all my drivelling.
My enemies are numerous, and no one would be blaming you
For cracking my head open after I've been rudely flaming you.

I hate to lose an argument (by now I should be used to it).
I wouldn't know a valid point if I was introduced to it.
My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia,
Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.

The comments I regurgitate, disguised as jest and drollery,
Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery.
I say I'm frank and forthright, but that's merely lies and vanity,
The gibberings of one who's at the limit of his sanity.

If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to;
If only Mom could find a circus freak-show she could sell me to;
I could go off to Zanzibar to paint the local scenery;
Or I could lose my fingers in a mishap with machinery;

If I survive to seventy (that's somewhat problematical);
If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical;
If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate;
Would I still be the loathsome and objectionable punk you hate?

But while I have this tiresome urge to prance around and show my face,
It's simply isn't safe for normal people here in cyberspace.
To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity
Would be a fitting punishment for my egocentricity.

I always have the last word; so, with utmost finality,
That's all from me, the model of a Delphi personality.

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(author unknown) With apologies to Messrs. Gilbert and Sullivan.

Stolen with permission from Jim at Rant and Rave.

Dee Dee

Stolen by Ohlook without permission but with credit given
In Peace and Balance, -- David

Is it alright to borrow something which somebody else has stolen??? (* GRIN *) ~wbenton

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