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Bizzare News
Moscow Cops Give Up On Stolen CarsMOSCOW - If your shiny car ever gets stolen and turns up in Moscow, the city's vigilant traffic police know just what to do: Give the proud new owner a permit to drive it. Not that the police condone car theft, they hasten to add, it's just that the problem with stolen foreign cars was getting out of hand. And it wasn't fair to penalize Russians because Westerners are too rich or too lazy to hang on to their cars.
"To be honest with you, we have more important things than just to babysit cars belonging to Westerners," said a traffic police lieutenant on duty on a major road, who didn't want to give his name. "I believe that the Westerners are rich enough to afford a new car if the old one is stolen," he added.
Getting Nailed Is A Heartbreaker For Tennessee ManDICKSON, Tennessee - Tennessee maintenance worker, Joe Kern, really takes his work to heart. The 52-year-old father-of ten slipped while using a nail gun to carry out repairs on a trailer. Kern told reporters that the nail was sticking out of his body with an inch of it lodged in the breast bone. He also said he had a good idea it hit the heart because he could feel the heart beat through the nail. Now, instead of going straight to hospital, he wanted to tell his wife Pam what had happened so she "would not come apart." A co-worker drove Kern home before he was air-lifted to a hospital in Vandy where surgeons removed the nail and repaired a hole in his right ventricle.
L.A. Woman Has The Foggiest Idea About Bug ExterminationLOS ANGELES - An L.A. woman got zapped during an attempt to exterminate bugs in her home. The woman, whose identity was not immediately released, activated 30 fogger-style "bug bombs" in her home, including one in the kitchen area. Some sort of ignition source triggered an explosion that author- ities say burned the woman, shattered the windows and lifted the roof three inches. According to fire spokesman Jim Wells, no more than three or four foggers should have been used and the blast caused about $30,000 damage to the 800-square-foot home.
"Rent-a-Dog" the Answer to Japan's Pet BanTOKYO, Japan - Japan is exhibiting an increasingly intolerant attitude toward Man's best friend. Many communities and apart- ment buildings are not allowing residents to keep dogs. Where there is a will, however, there is a way. In retaliation, they have come up with an alternate solution: renting dogs by the hour. Customers can then take their dogs to parks specifically designed for canines. The parks have become so popular that the director of a Tokyo dog park hopes they will reach their goal of opening 20 franchised dog parks by the end of the year. Some apartment complexes have become more supportive of pet owners by installing special dog showers and rooms made for pet grooming.
Open Mouth, Insert FootST. PAUL - Former Navy SEAL, former pro wrestler and current Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura has once again demonstrated his political acumen by comparing recreational hunting to "hunting men" in wartime. Ventura fell back on his military background as he lambasted a local newspaper columnist for questioning his commitment to conservation saying, "If you haven't hunted man, you haven't hunted." Minnesota hunter and conservationist Mike Furtman said, "[You] don't equate shooting someone in defense of your country with hunting animals. It's borderline psychotic to make that leap." During his weekly radio show Friday, Ventura said he didn't mean to offend anyone with the comments. [When asked what it's like shooting people vs. shooting game, the Governor replied, "You just don't lead 'em as much."]
"COPS" Producer Is A Real 'Bad Boy' HimselfATLANTA, Georgia - While traveling through Atlanta to scope out the city for filming his TV series "Cops", producer Murray Jordan was arrested for drunk driving. He was reportedly stop- ped by officers after making an illegal turn in a rental car. During a sobriety test police say he was not able to recite the alphabet or stand on one leg for more than a second. After his arrest, he posted a $1,000 bond and was released his own recognizance. Ironically, Jordan's itinerary included a meeting with the Atlanta Police Department later in his trip.
Bizarre Things I've Learned From My Children[Thanks to Michael Parsons for sending in this list.]
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape.
4. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
5. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
6. Certain LEGOS will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
7. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
8. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commer- cials show they do.
9. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
10. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
11. It will however make cats dizzy.
12. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
13. The neighbors cats and dogs sure love licking the driveway after I pour this bottle on it. Maybe that's why she gets so many animals.
14. Dogs make funny faces from PB&J's.
15. I feel dizzy smelling these fruit markers.