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Bedtime Prayers for Men and Women
(be sure to read both)
Bedtime Prayer (for men)As I lay me down to sleep
I pray for a woman who's very cheap.One who's sexy, blonde and long.
Who notices that she's mostly wrong.One who sucks and doesn't speak.
And promises to do so at least once a week.I pray that she is very randy,
'cause one like that would come in pretty handy.Opens her legs and lies on the floor,
and once I'm done, she wants no more.Oh, send me a woman who will not play with my mind.
Who knows what she wants and that's a LOT from behind!One who'll screw till my body's a twitchin'
and brings me a beer when she comes from the kitchen!I pray that she'll last right up to the end,
And would never complain when I do her best friend.Thanks in advance and you know I can't wait,
so I'll screw all the rest 'cause it's never too late.Amen.
Bedtime Prayer (for women)Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.One who's handsome, smart and strong.
He's not afraid to admit it when he's wrong.One who thinks before he speaks.
When he promises to call, he doesn't wait 6 weeks.I pray that he is gainfully employed
and won't lose his cool when he's annoyed.Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.Oh, send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Knows just what to say when I ask, "How fat is my behind?"One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin'.
He brings ME a sandwich too, when he goes to the kitchen!I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And would never compare me with my best girlfriend.Thank You in advance and now I'll just wait,
for I know You will send him before it's too late.Amen