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10 Ways You Can Tell When Your Cow Has Mad Cow Disease
1) Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.2) She refuses to let you milk her, saying, "Not on a first date."
3) Your cow takes up painting and cuts off one of its ears.
4) She gets silicone implants for her udders.
5) She appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow's body.
6) Your cow demands to be branded with the Golden Arches.
7) Your cow insists that all Hindus are sacred.
8) Your cow thought Frank Bruno would beat Mike Tyson.
9) You catch your cow hiding secret plans to burn down half of Chicago.
10) Your cow quits the family dairy business and applies for a job at Burger King.
(my additions)11) Your cow stops eating grass and starts smoking it instead.
12) She refuses to be mounted by any cow except Hue Heffer.
13) She wants to star as the center-fold of Cowboy! (Instead of Playboy)
14) She pisses and shits all over the place anytime you bring any kind of machine near her.
15) She starts to like it when you use the cowpoke on her.
16) She sticks her tounge out at you everytime you walk by.
17) She requests steak and eggs every Sunday morning.