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Guide to Life
"Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On, A Cowboy's Guide To Life"There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
Never ask a man the size of his spread.
Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he Started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: when you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
Never cut good whiskey with water, unless you're out of whiskey.
Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a lots easier 'n puttin' it back in.
Quickest way to double your money: Fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
If you don't think anybody wants to hear your story, it's probably best not to tell it!