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Algorisms or Qualeisms
THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO "ALGORISMS"Al Gore staggers through the dense undergrowth of the English language...
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Al Gore"Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." (Kinky much, Al?)
-- Vice President Al Gore"Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts."
--Vice President Al Gore"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
--Vice President Al Gore, 8/11/94"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
--Vice President Al Gore, 5/22/98"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, & that one word is 'to be prepared'."
--Vice President Al Gore, 12/6/93"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
--Vice President Al Gore, 11/30/96"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
--Vice President Al Gore. "Good one Al""The future will be better tomorrow."
--Vice President Al Gore"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
--Vice President Al Gore, 9/21/97"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
--Vice President Al Gore"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
--Vice President Al Gore to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
--Vice President Al Gore"Public speaking is very easy."
--Vice President Al Gore to reporters, 10/95"I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat."
--Vice President Al Gore"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." (DUH!)
--Vice President Al Gore"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.
--Al Gore"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
--Vice President Al Gore, 5/20/98"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
--Vice President Al Gore, 9/5/93"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
--Vice President Al Gore, 9/18/95"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Al Gore may or may not make." (Bob Dole syndrome here, Al?)
--Vice President Al Gore"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
--Vice President Al Gore"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." (And they say GW is causing pollution...)
--Vice President Al Gore"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
--Vice President Al Gore"As many of you know, I was very instrumental in the founding of the Internet"
--Al Gore to Katie Couric, 3/99
OR ARE THEY QUALEISMSStupid Dan Qualye Quotes
Frm. Vice-President Dan Qualye
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." (Quoted during a fundraising event for the United Negro College Fund)
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." (September 15, 1988)
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy--but that could change." (March 22, 1989)
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is "to be prepared". (December 6, 1989)
"I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future."
"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
"People that are really weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
"We have a firm commitment to NATO. We are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having."
"Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year."
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
The American people would not want to know of any of the misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.