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The Adventure Continues ...
Excerpted in large part from Outside Magazine, May 1995, pp. 120-121These are supposedly actual questions asked by tourists at various U.S. national parks ...
Zion National Park: What is your best parking area?Mount Rainier National Park: Where's the road to the summit?
Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore: Don't you think the polluted sky makes a much prettier sunset?
(Obviously someone who voted for Newt)Grand Canyon National Park:
Was this man-made?
Do you light it up at night?
I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -- where is it?
Is the mule train air-conditioned?
So where are the faces of the presidents?
Why did the Indians only build ruins? Everglades National Park:
Are the alligators real?
Are the baby alligators for sale?
Where are all the rides?
What time does the two o'clock bus leave? Mesa Verde National Park:
Did people build this, or did Indians?
Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
What did they worship in the kivas -- their own made-up religion?
Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado? Carlsbad Caverns National Park:
How much of the cave is underground?
So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?
Does it ever rain in here?
How many ping-pong balls would it take to fill this up?
So what is this -- just a hole in the ground? Yosemite National Park:
Where are the cages for the animals?
What time of year do you turn on Yosemite Falls?
What happened to the other half of Half Dome?
Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton? Denali National Park:
What time do you feed the bears?
What time do they let the animals out in the park?
What's so wonderful about Wonder Lake?
Can you show me where yeti lives?
How often do you mow the tundra?
How much does Mount McKinley weigh? Yellowstone National Park:
Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
How do you turn it on?
When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?