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What if Operating Systems Ran Airlines?
DOS Airlines: Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then push again, jump on again, and so on.MAC Airways: All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without you having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Airlines: The airport terminal is nice and colorful with friendly stewards, easy access to the plane, an uneventful takeoff...then the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever.
Fly NT: Everyone marches out onto the runway, says the password in unison, and forms the outline of an airplane. Then they all sit down and make whoosing sound like they're flying.
UNIX Airlines: Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building.
Newton Airlines: After buying your ticket 18 months in advance, you finally get to board the plane. Upon boarding the plane you are asked your name. After 46 times, the crew member recognizes your name and then you are allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, the steward announces that you have to repeat the boarding process because they are out of room and need to recount to make sure they can take more passengers.
Metaphor Flying Machines: The great new planes are sitting on the runway, but the mechanics are all on strike and the ticket agents can't sell any tickets because the planes don't have windows and the airline hasn't figured out where they're flying to.
(Ed. - Metaphor finished a major release, but 2/3rds of the Engineers have quit, and the product only runs on OS/2, not Windows)Xerox Airlines: Well... our planes don't fly, but they make great copies!
Oeroflot System/2: Airline most powerful. Carry many tractors for you. Also to say our windows better than their windows. Would like export license? Can sell cheap.