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Blondes Various
Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron", then we could do without the ironing lady.
Blonde Wife: Well, if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener too.
I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting.
She told me she didn't know how to cook them.
This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"
A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about it!": "I don't have to think -- I'm blonde!"
A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they just don't remember who with.
What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man.
Blondes... They take a lickin', and keep on... Lickin!
Over the weekend I heard a blonde telling this joke:Blonde Asks: What do you call a blonde in between two brunettes?
Blonde Answers: An interprolater!
We were laughing so hard we thought we were going to die.
The funny part was that she thought we were laughing at her joke.
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well!" and turned around an drove home.
(If you don't have to think about this one, you're probably a blonde)On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park.The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie".
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy.
Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.?
Blonde: I don't know. Why?
Teller: It was easier to spell.
Blonde: Easier than what?
The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her. Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can fuck and suck better than anyone. But she says I can't cook!"
Confucious say: blonde who fly upside down have crack up.
At a carwash in Burbank, there were two identical Hondas coming out at the same time. A beautiful blond woman jumps into one and takes off, leaving its owner rather perplexed. About three minutes later, she reappears at the car wash yelling, "who ripped off my car phone!"
Last night I went home to my blonde girlfriend, and told her I was going to screw her brains out.Then I realized I was too late!
A blonde friend of mine was looking for some transportation, so I bought her a Woody. I called her up later and asked how she like it. She told me it was OK, but that it didn't look so good once she had taken it out of the crate.
Imitation of a blonde refuelling... (Flap hand, blowing air into ears)
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"
Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage?
Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.
There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "You bimbo, it's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals. She proudly said," go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, it's 'W'."
A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"Or: "Good thing that cows don't fly...