|
|
|
The Mailman's Last Day
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a very revealing negligee. She said nothing, but instead took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom. There she engaged him in the most passionate love-making he had ever experienced.
When he could hardly even speak, let alone think of more sex, she somehow managed to shower him, dress him, and take him downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. She poured him a cup of steaming coffee and noticed his strength returning as she rubbed his neck soothingly.
Just then, as she was pouring a second cup of Java feeling like life couldn't get any better, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
He blurted out, "This whole neighborhood has been incredible on mylast day, but this here ... well, this is just too wonderful for words!"
Then, puzzled, he added, "... but ... what's the dollar for?""Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and I said that we should do something special for you. I asked him what he thought I should give you." He grunted and said, "Aw fuck him; give him a dollar." Then she added, "Breakfast and the neck rub were MY idea."