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Gas Man
by: Robert Byron
As I sat minding my own business the telephone rang and when I answered it a voice at the other end said, "Mr. Byron?""Yes?"
"This is Christy with First national Bank and Savings. How are you today?"
"Well, I've got gas pretty bad and it kind of makes my stomach hurt. You ever get that way?"
"Sometimes."
"Well I've been getting it more and more lately. Must be all that Mexican food."
"It could be. I'm calling to."
"You think so? I hadn't thought of that. It might just be all that Mexican food. I wonder why it is it'll do that to you. Do you know why?"
"No sir, I'm calling to let you know that you've been pre-approved for our new low interest VISA card."
"You reckon it's all them beans they put in there?"
"I really don't know sir."
"Do beans give you gas?"
"Sometimes."
"They do it to me all the time. Beans and Mexican food. They're killing me. What do you reckon I ought to do about it?"
"I would have no idea sir but I like to offer you."
"I tried some of that Gas-X stuff once but it didn't do nothing."
"I wouldn't know anything about it."
"You don't get gas? Everybody gets gas. Even my dog gets gas. Does your dog get gas?"
"I don't have a dog."
"Well, if you ever get one don't give it beans let me just tell you."
"I'll keep that in mind. Would you be interested in."
"Onions don't sit with me too well these days either you know. It didn't used to be that way but it is nowadays."
"We have pre-approved you for our new low interest."
"Well it was nice talking to you but I got to go. That last burrito is working on me. Hope that gas problem of yours clears up! Bye!
Robeo