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Dear Abby (Coast Guard)
I am a sailor in the US Coast Guard. My parents live in the suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite.My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City.
I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non parole life sentence in Attica for rape and murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and indeed is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. However her time there is limited, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager.
I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the street, and hopefully the heroin.
Abby, my problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Bush?
COAST GUARD KARL