IRS Pecker Tax
TO: All Male Taxpayers
FROM: Internal Revenue Service
SUBJECT: Increased Tax Payments
It has been brought to our attention that the only thing the Internal Revenue has not taxed is your pecker. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed; 30% of the time it is pissed off; 20% of the time it is hard up; and 10% of the time it is employed but operating in the hole. Futuremore, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Accordingly; after Feb. 1, 1978, your pecker will be taxed - based on its size - using the pecker-checker scales below. Determine your category and insert the additional tax under "Other Taxes" on page 2, Part V, line 60 of your standard tax form.
PECKER CHECKER SCALE
a. 10 to 12 inches Luxury Tax - $50.00
b. 8 to 10 inches Pole Tax - $18.00
c. 6 to 8 inches Privilege Tax - $15.00
d. 4 to 6 inches Nuisance Tax - $5.00
NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
Do not apply for an extension. Males with peckers in excess of 12 inches should file under "Capital Gain" and come into our office for special attention.
Hope you have a good day . . . and lots of smiles