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Microsoft Georgia


How different Microsoft would be if Bill Gates ran Microsoft from South Georgia:


1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders.

2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle.

3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window covered with a Hefty bag.

4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw".

5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos.

6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse.

7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"

8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be "Achy-Breaky Heart".

9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt".

10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++".

11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag.

12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word.

13. Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers.

14. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!".

15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz".

16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.

17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse.

18. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver.

19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire.

20. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard.

21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator.

22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates.



And my own personal additions!!!




23. Any firmware upgrades required to stay compatible with Micr'sawft would be called "Farmware" upgrades.

24. Any bug fixes/patches that Micr'sawft came out with would be called: Sawf'ter upgrades.

25. Any hardware annomalies that happened while running Micr'sawft would require: Hawd'er upgrades.

26. The Internet Explorer package would be dubbed "Peanuts"!




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